Hello again on this beautiful night in EVE gentle reader. I hope you are relaxing snugly in your pods, safely spinning in station or elsewhere that I might have your attention for a few moments once more.  As I mentioned in my log from earlier in the cycle, I’ve been roaming around the native systems of my biological people, primarily familiarizing myself with the area, and even *gasp* running a few missions in the hopes of eventually being able to keep myself supplied with Sisters Probes and Launchers.

Tonight I decide to take a new Rifter, using Mr. Set Shwayo’s excellent “Citation” fitting, out for a spin to see how she handles.  While not being quite as maneuverable as my trusty Payload, the Citation Jr. performed admirably though she was not tested in combat.

My report of tonight’s activities is as follows:

While cruising through the numerous asteroid belts of the Abudban system (0.7) I came across one “Natedog40″ mining from a Retriever into an unlicensed jetcan, and dangerously close to a known warp corridor.  Approaching Mr. Dog40′s position, he failed to respond to my attempts to raise him on the navcom and so I was forced to confiscate the contents of the jetcan in question and impound them temporarily in a TEARS Licensed Ore Containment Unit.

At this point Mr. Dog40 proceeded to lock on to my patrol ship and I felt that attack from his Warrior I combat drones was imminent.  For reasons unknown to this officer, the suspect held his fire but continued to annoy me with his persistent “yellow box” whenever I moved within range in hopes of initiating a dialog.  At this juncture I decided to proceed with standard hazardous material disposal procedures by shuffling the confiscated ore from the standard TEARS LOCU, to a new prototype container that I’ve been working on: the TEARS Licensed Destructible Jetcan, or TLDJ.

Once all the ore was safely secured in the TLDJ, I proceeded along a safe vector and activated the ignition sequence.  The blast radius was confined to 400m of the site, no debris was detected on DSCAN, and the corridors were safe once again.  I decided to wait in the area for a moment to see if I could finally get a response from Mr. Dog40 but none was forthcoming.  I docked up to attend to the call of nature, and the call of paperwork.

Here I assumed that this was a pretty open and shut case of space littering and prepared to fill out the proper forms.  When I returned from the “office”, and the records room with a fresh stack of blank forms I noticed that I’d missed an incoming private transmission from Mr. Natedog40.  Wondering what prompted this communication, I immediately opened a return channel and entered into this dialog.  Please note that at [03:04:18] Eden Standard Time, one “Enigmatic Lunatic” joined the conversation as Mr. Dog40′s Corporate CEO.

[02:54:04] Natedog40 > hello
[02:54:08] Dryfty > hi there, sorry I was away for a bit
[02:54:11] Dryfty > what can I do for you?
[02:54:25] Natedog40 > give back my ore that u stole
[02:54:47] Dryfty > unfortunately that ore no longer exists
[02:54:58] Natedog40 > then pay me for it
[02:55:29] Dryfty > it was clogging the spacelane and after confiscating it, and without a response from you, I destroyed it to prevent any unfortunate accidents
[02:56:05] Dryfty > you seem to misunderstand the situation, but as soon as I finish my paperwork rest assured that you’ll receive a copy of your citation for littering
[02:56:21] Natedog40 > well your actions have been demmed wrong and my corp hunters are in the sector
[02:56:22] Dryfty > at that time you’ll have the opportunity to pay the fine and put this whole incident behind you
[02:57:02] Dryfty > well I sincerely hope for their part that they take a little more pride in their work than you seemed to, leaving all that just lying around
[02:57:19] Dryfty > but rest assured, where there’s debris, I’ll do my best to be there to help clean up
[02:57:29] Natedog40 > i hope u are ready to lose your ship
[02:57:54] Dryfty > I do believe you had ample opportunity to attempt that yourself earlier but didnt seize the moment
[02:58:01] Dryfty > *shrug*
[02:58:13] Natedog40 > in a mining barge r u nuts
[02:58:34] Dryfty > perhaps in the future you will act more promptly to right these so-called “wrongs” that you claim to be a victim of
[02:59:06] Dryfty > your drones were perfectly capable of destroying those innocent belt refugees that come through every so often
[02:59:27] Dryfty > I wouldn’t have thought a tiny Citation Issue Rifter would be a problem for you
[02:59:38] Natedog40 > perhaps in the future u will learn respect
[03:00:02] Natedog40 > i just hope it doesnt take a podding tot each u that respect
[03:00:21] Dryfty > oh I have lots of respect for those that uphold TEARS Ordinance #46183.A,  but unfortunately your littering ways disqualify you from that distinction
[03:00:38] Dryfty > it really is sad, I think we could’ve been great friends
[03:00:39] Natedog40 > if u reimburse the value of the ore i may spare your ship/pod
[03:01:08] Dryfty > unfortunately sir we here at SN and TEARS don’t negotiate with terrorists
[03:01:22] Natedog40 > wtf your the terroist
[03:01:25] Dryfty > which its increasingly apparent that is what you really are
[03:01:30] Natedog40 > u popped my can
[03:01:54] Dryfty > hiding behind your “oh its a mining barge” excuses while you clog the spacelanes with debris, hoping to destroy hapless travelers by
[03:02:21] Dryfty > and then publicly harranguing officially licensed TEARS operatives who step in to help you resolve the situation
[03:02:36] Dryfty > now on top of that you’re making militant threats on condition of ransom
[03:02:40] Dryfty > sounds like a terrorist to me sir
[03:02:52] Natedog40 > u owe me 200,000 isk for that ore if u pay i will s[pare your ship/pod
[03:03:05] Dryfty > so as I said before, as much as I wish we could’ve been friends, we simply don’t negotiate with terrorists
[03:03:40] Dryfty > and for the record, that looked like a lot more than 200k worth of ore, just because you’re a terrorist doesn’t mean you should sell yourself so short
[03:03:52] Dryfty > have some pride in your work at least
[03:04:05] Dryfty > while you murder women and children with your “mining lasers”
[03:04:18] Enigmatic Lunatic > hey dryfty
[03:04:25] Dryfty > why hello there \o
[03:04:25] Enigmatic Lunatic > im nate coe
[03:04:31] Enigmatic Lunatic > o7
[03:04:47] Dryfty > doesn’t ring a bell, but what can I do for you nate?
[03:04:58] Dryfty > was just oh nm
[03:04:59] Dryfty > I misread
[03:05:03] Dryfty > you’re Nate’s CEO
[03:05:03] Natedog40 > he is my corp leader
[03:05:12] Enigmatic Lunatic > sorry im nate’s ceo sorry i cant type right today
[03:05:28] Dryfty > well Nate and I were just having a discussion of the reasons that he really should turn his life around and give up terrorism
[03:05:38] Enigmatic Lunatic > yeah .. if you want a duel im down to duel you but nate is new
[03:05:42] Dryfty > surely as his CEO and friend you can help him see the wisdom of this?
[03:05:48] Enigmatic Lunatic > wow nate when did you become a terrorist
[03:05:57] Natedog40 > dunno i was one
[03:06:16] Natedog40 > here i thought i was jetcan mining
[03:06:18] Enigmatic Lunatic > if by terrorist you mean frendly miner makeing isk and having fun i think your correct
[03:06:20] Dryfty > I encountered Mr. Dog40 a short while ago placing IED cannisters around the M8 Belt 4
[03:06:32] Dryfty > hoping to snare innocent travelers in his web of death ore
[03:06:53] Dryfty > thankfully as a local TEARS representative I came upon the scene and removed the hazardous debris
[03:06:58] Enigmatic Lunatic > ahh so you thought you would be a good samaritan and pop that “dangerous object” he was leaving in space
[03:07:19] Dryfty > Ill be certain to copy you on Mr. Dog40′s citation once I file my report
[03:07:33] Enigmatic Lunatic > well as somone who knows nate i can safely say that he has no explosives to use in said dangerous containers
[03:07:42] Dryfty > we here at TEARS look forward to a speedy resolution to all such incidents
[03:08:11] Dryfty > once the fine is paid in full we’ll be happy to write this whole thing off as a youthful offense
[03:08:13] Enigmatic Lunatic > well thanks dryfty
[03:08:17] Dryfty > given Mr. Dog40′s age
[03:08:20] Enigmatic Lunatic > the fine?
[03:08:40] Dryfty > certainly welcome, if there’s anything else we can do for you, please don’t hesitate to contact a local TEARS representative
[03:09:11] Dryfty > oh yes, possession of an unlicensed jetcan, improper storage of hazardous materials, among others
[03:09:31] Dryfty > the typical fine comes out to around 500k, but I wont know the extend of the damages until I type my report
[03:09:50] Dryfty > extent*
[03:09:59] Enigmatic Lunatic > lol ill keep you guys in mind if i need something to laugh myself to death with
[03:10:16] Dryfty > we do what we can sir, one system at a time
[03:10:22] Enigmatic Lunatic > im glad we could talk about this and keep it fun
[03:10:29] Enigmatic Lunatic > do you guys do merc work ever
[03:10:31] Dryfty > unless there’s anything else you’d like to discuss, fly safe o7
[03:10:47] Enigmatic Lunatic > cuz i might need to hire some people in a month or so
[03:11:09] Dryfty > no sir, though we have excellent relations with several merc corps, and might be able to refer you to one, we don’t take on those kinds of jobs
[03:11:25] Enigmatic Lunatic > thanks mind if i bookmark you
[03:11:29] Dryfty > we’re much too busy here in the Spacelane Sanitation Division
[03:11:33] Dryfty > of course, please do
[03:11:44] Enigmatic Lunatic > fly safe dryfty
[03:11:50] Dryfty > look forward to hearing from you, fly safe
[03:12:32] Natedog40 > well i got mining to do bye

I find myself infinitely thankful for the reasonable presence of Enigmatic Lunatic (irony? I think so.) that kept Nate from dangerously escalating the situation any further.  At times during the conversation I had begun to genuinely fear for my own safety and that of other TEARS operatives in the area.

Fortunately “EL” was present to calm things down, and I think that my professional tone and friendly manner went a long way towards diffusing the situation.  With everything now well in hand, I finally proceeded to complete the required paperwork which allowed me to officially issue this citation to “EL” on behalf of TEARS for the inappropriate actions of his employee.

I do appreciate the fact that by the end of our discussion, Mr. Natedog40 had essentially yielded his position with a “Thank you sir, may I have another?”. Pending payment of the fine, or a formal response to the citation, this case is tabled.

Citation #47620-3 Use of Unregistered Jetcan
From: Dryfty
Sent: 2010.08.03 04:37
To: Enigmatic Lunatic,

Mr. Lunatic,

Pursuant to our earlier interaction, I am officially enclosing the aforementioned citation and requisite fine for TEARS Officer intervention. We hope that together with your cooperation we can keep areas like Abudban VIII Belt IV safe for travelers and miners alike and must insist in the future that you use a properly licensed TEARS jetcan for your ore storage needs. Individual licenses may be purchased from myself or any TEARS representative for the nominal sum of 50,000 ISK. Please see details below for Corporation licensing.

Your prompt payment of this fine will conclude TEARS involvement in this case. Should you wish to appeal this citation, file a complaint, or request a quote for a Corporation Jetcan License: please contact SN CEO Aiden Mourn

As a gesture of goodwill I have decided to “forget” the terroristic threats made by Mr. Dog40 during our previous discussion and have not included those fees in the below citation. I hope we here at TEARS can count on your continued support in our efforts to keep the spacelanes clear for all.

Respectfully Yours,
Dryfty – Heimatar Region TEARS Representative

FORM #46183.A-C93 UNREGISTERED JETCAN CITATION
Issued by: TEAR EXTRACTION AND RECLAMATION SERVICE

Sector ID: 486BFG88499HG-3345-588FN
Jetcan Inventory: See Misc/Ref. Lading Log #6587-15

Operatives of TEARS Alliance, Subgroup: Suddenly Ninjas [YOINK] have issued a member of your Corporation a Citation for Failure to Properly Register an Unsecured Jetcan Residing in a Municipal Asteroid Belt per EDEN Municipal Code #46183.A in 0.7 System Abudban, Planet VIII, Belt IV

Party In Violation:  Natedog40

Infraction of EDEN Municipal Code #46183.A can incur a fine of up to 500,000.00 ISK, authorized destruction of vessel and resulting wreck salvage fees, not to exceed 20,000.00 ISK.

Registration Fee ………………………………………….. 250,000 ISK
Astrogation LIDAR Omission Penalty …………………………. 150,000 ISK
Debris Handling Fee……………………………………………………….. 50.000 ISK
Disposal Fee …………………………………………………………… 15,000 ISK
TEARS Licensed Destructable Jetcan…………………………….25,000 ISK
TEARS Officer Ammunition………………………………………….20,000 ISK
Fraternal Order of Salvagers Union Fund Contribution … 5,500 ISK

Total Assessment: 515,500 ISK

Please Remit Funds to TEARS – Spacelane Sanitation Division
Authorized Representative or your nearest TEARS Alliance Officer.

Forthcoming replies will be appended to the case file

Update: Reply from Enigmatic Lunatic Re: Citation #47620-3 Use of Unregistered Jetcan, and my response.

Re: Citation #47620-3 Use of Unregistered Jetcan
From: Enigmatic Lunatic
Sent: 2010.08.03 06:55
To: Dryfty

Mr. Dryfty,

After much thought and consideration i have chosen to decline your offer and keep this matters punishment “in house.” If you are not able to lend me the courtesy of keeping my affairs in house i will have to seek “counsultants” to help me handle any negative relations. Please do not contact me at home about this matter as my security company is very well paid and very bored.

Your quick response is appreciated.
The Lunatic

Mr. Lunatic,

As always it’s a pleasure speaking with you.  While I can certainly respect your desire to handle the discipline of your employee “in house”, records must be maintained so that should future incidents occur, all parties involved can make sound and rational judgments.  Having already been informed by Mr. Dog40 of his refusal to remit said fine, this case has been marked “Closed, No Resolution” and Mr. Dog40 has been red-flagged for additional monitoring.  Should he stumble back into his illegal use of unlicensed jetcans, further TEARS action may be forthcoming.

Speaking to your use of “counsultants”, we here at TEARS certainly welcome dialog with any parties that may be so inclined to involve themselves in matters of jurisdiction and corrective actions.  Should you or your “counsultants” wish to pursue this line further please do not hesitate to contact SN CEO Aiden Mourn

Respectfully Yours,
Dryfty – Heimatar Region TEARS Representative