Good day gentle reader. I hope you can pardon the recent lapse in log entries, but paperwork has a tendency to pile up with the sheer volume of calls that we TEARS operatives handle on a daily basis. I assure you that this will be worth the wait as I have much to catch up on, not least the apprehension of the second most valuable offender on record for TEARS (I refuse to count that Carrier).

While we expend much of our patrol efforts in the numerous asteroid belts of New Eden, we do regularly seek out those less obvious hazards: deadspace wreck fields.  These silent killers are not as obtrusive as an asteroid belt filled with the cast-offs of sloppy miners, but they clog the warplanes nonetheless and must be removed to preserve the integrity of our warplanes.  Sometimes in the course of this duty a TEARS operative will encounter a hostile pilot that while not securing these wrecks and their cargo, seem determined to prevent us from doing so as well.  Often they go so far as to fire upon a duly sanctioned TEARS officer, which opens up a whole other level of citations and, you guessed it, paperwork.

Over the course of the previous two weeks I’ve dipped my toes into this wellspring of offenders and have emerged refreshed.  My first successful attempt to bring a violent fugitive to justice resulted in the destruction of Ms. Luna Pretoria’s Typhoon.  Up to, and for a week after this arrest, I busied myself with my normal belt patrols and scouting new systems to ordnance violators which led to my apprehension of two additional offenders just yesterday. Mr. Kaiser Barker thought to flout the decree of law and open fire on my TEARS Issue Vigil while I was securing and processing a large number of Sansha’s Large Wrecks and their cargo that he had carelessly left clogging a heavily traveled warplane.  I paused in my salvage duties to assess the threat posed by his Armageddon battleship, and put it down like the rabid dog it was.  Finally as I was considering turning in at the end of my shift, I decided to branch out and explore surrounding systems for possible violations.  The TEARS presence is minimal in Amarr space, and I’m loathe to allow the criminal element the comfort of complacency.

Checking the whiteboard for pirate activity, I was drawn to the Ekid solar system.  Upon arrival in my trusty Cheetah I immediately knew something was wrong.  There were only 14 pilots in the system including myself, yet the number of pirate ships that had been recently destroyed was off the charts!  We had a serious offender here.  Definitely serial killer potential.  I engage my trusty Sister’s Combat Probes (a recent addition, quite fond of them really) and set out to bring justice to this Amarrian backwater.  My first contact was a Raven who appeared to simply be sitting by himself out in space, alone with his thoughts.  Only a few moments later though I found him: Mr. Apocalypse Navy Issue.  Oh yes, this was our man. I docked my Cheetah in system and quickly made the three jumps back to Penirgman where I’d temporarily stored my assets and returned as quickly as possibly in Payload, my trusty Vigil.  Upon warping into the deadspace area he was engaging I noticed that these were no pirates at all, but my Matari brothers who’d chosen to serve in the Republic Fleet!  Enraged I hit the acceleration gate and notice that our ANI pilot has an underling in a Catalyst removing the evidence of his crimes from the field.  This must not stand.  I warp into the second sector and there he is, slaughtering left and right without the decency to give my brothers a military burial.  I engage my afterburner and move to correct this wrong, collecting the fallen’s dogtags to send back to their families, and salvaging what I can from the wrecks of their ships for the Republic Fleet Pension Fund.  Unfortunately, after laying to rest only two crews I found myself engaged by the Apoc pilot, Purple Delpoodle, and his drones coming in fast.

I managed to warp out, and immediately headed for Penirgman to repair the damage to my Vigil and exchange it for my Hurricane.  Never expecting him to be there when I returned, imagine my surprise when after 6 jumps and the station hangar delay (damn union dock workers), there he is on my navcom just as before.  I warp into the first room where I’d previously encountered his salvage minion in a Catalyst, but there was nothing to be found.  I activate the acceleration gate and prepare to rain swift and fiery justice down upon the offender…  but he’s no longer there.  Quickly checking my navcom I see his salvage minion busily working away at the veritable graveyard, but the ANI is nowhere to be seen.  Then I spot the next acceleration gate 10km away and immediately burn towards it in slow motion.  I fully expect him to be gone by the time I arrive, having been forewarned by his faithful minion who’s surely noticed a giant flashy red Hurricane by now, but to my surprise and delight I warp in directly on top of him as he engages even more of my Matari brethren.

Upon noticing me finally, he begins to align for warp.  I quickly target him and engage my Warp Disruptor II, and he’s suddenly stranded with a bunch of angry Minmatar.  I quickly chew through his armor and was contemplating demanding a ransom for his ship when this comes across the broadcast:

[ 2010.09.17 03:57:48 ] Purple Delpoodle > hey dry
[ 2010.09.17 03:57:51 ] Purple Delpoodle > ill pay ransom
[ 2010.09.17 03:57:58 ] Dryfty > 250mil or you die
[ 2010.09.17 03:58:01 ] Purple Delpoodle > kkk
[ 2010.09.17 03:58:16 ] Purple Delpoodle > stop shooting first please
[ 2010.09.17 03:58:20 ] Dryfty > money first.
[ 2010.09.17 03:58:31 ] Purple Delpoodle > you get that?
[ 2010.09.17 03:58:37 ] Dryfty > indeed, and thanks
[ 2010.09.17 03:58:44 ] Dryfty > SUDDENLY BETRAYAL
[ 2010.09.17 03:59:24 ] Purple Delpoodle > not cool

This was the result. Let this serve as a reminder to those who would flout the law and expect to avoid the repercussions. This is not low/null sec where pirate does battle with pirate and ransoms form a necessary revenue stream.  This is TEARS sec.  If you break the law, you will be broken in turn. Although tears normally fuel our ships, faction modules certainly don’t hurt.

So to you Purple Delpoodle: You did not cry, and died well, so my virtual hat (as you can plainly see I don’t wear one) is off to you.  If you’re interested you will find your Shadow Serpentis Tracking Computer and Imperial Navy Heat Sink on public contract in Amarr for reasonable prices.