So there I was busily scanning away in Oichiya looking for those elusive bears, when I stumble across a Raven who’s just launched an assault against some sort of intergalactic brothel!  After determining that the ships he destroyed were worthless for salvage, and the modules they carried I wouldnt fit on an Ibis, I settled in to wait and see what rewards his efforts might bring… and to whom.

I sat at ~43km from the Pleasure Hub he was assaulting and as it went up in a glorious ball of flame and debris, I engaged my trusty Micro Warp Drive and made a dive-bombing run for the remaining container from which I could faintly hear moans of despair.  But behold! TWO containers, and our stalwart bear is in the process of tractor beaming one into his cargohold.  My gut tells me that that was not the container from which I heard the anguished cries of distress, so onward I push to retrieve the other forgotten, floating canister.  And lo, but what do I find as I release the pressure locks once the container is firmly secured aboard my trusty Vigil?  A fair Damsel!  Obviously overjoyed at her fortuitous rescue, she flung herself into my arms and bid me take her away from this hellish place.  It was with great reluctance, and much wailing and gnashing of teeth on her part, that once safely docked I sent out a general broadcast in an attempt to locate our hero in order to reunite him with his true love.

Of course no good deed must go unrewarded, and the fair lady insist that I accept a token of her beloveds esteem before she would part from my company.  I truly was grateful for this, as I incurred significant expenses on this mission of rescue and was beginning to wonder how I would be able to continue serving the Greater Good™.

This gentle reader, is where our story of chivalry and daring do breaks down.  Our hero, one Orin Leo, had the AUDACITY to be ungrateful for my assistance!  After several fair minded attempts on my part to reach an equitable reward for my services, Mr. Leo stormed off to parts unknown, leaving the fair Damsel in my capable care.

For your consideration, those that are still reading, I present our discourse:

Local:

[02:30:18] Orin Leo > asshole
[02:30:35] Chris Ross > whos an asshole dude?#
[02:30:38] Dryfty > WTS  The Damsel  25m
[02:30:46] Atra Lupus > rofl
[02:30:56] Klapen > lolz
[02:30:59] Pullo Bishop > LMAO
[02:31:05] Ralorne Seffre > i saw that contract last night, lol’d irl
[02:31:06] Atra Lupus > blackmail him
[02:31:21] Cbpress > /emote golf claps
[02:31:26] Dryfty > she wont last long gents, step right up
[02:31:30] Dryfty > get one of your very own
[02:31:46] Dryfty > she cooks, she cleans, she does unspeakable things
[02:32:03] Orin Leo > i dunno why people get a kick out of being dickheads
[02:32:19] Iciandori > Dont give the bottomfeeder the satisfaction drop the mission
[02:32:34] Orin Leo > no i’m not losing standinds, i’ll petition it
[02:32:34] Dryfty > tell you what Orin, since you seem like such a swell guy, Ill contract it to you for an even 20m, thats a 5 MILLION ISK SAVINGS
[02:32:49] Atra Lupus > ghaha
[02:32:56] Orin Leo > lick my nuts i wouldn’t give you an acorn for that damsel
[02:33:18] Plainace > pine cone maybe ?
[02:33:29] Daniel Kaiser > Or an orange!
[02:33:39] AlexTheTerrible > ahahaha
[02:33:41] Dryfty > enjoy your standing loss then mate :D
[02:33:41] Daniel Kaiser > Lotsa oranges her ein florida… can’t give em away
[02:33:42] AlexTheTerrible > >petition it
[02:33:45] Dryfty > contracts up if you change your mind
[02:33:48] AlexTheTerrible > enjoy your standings loss
[02:33:49] Plainace > dude, orange > damsel
[02:33:52] Dryfty > even private just for you
[02:34:01] Pullo Bishop > Wow….I gave up that Bitch for cheep last night…..Should have demanded more….
[02:34:03] Pullo Bishop > :(
[02:34:39] Klapen > awwww u poor little thing
[02:34:44] Klapen > here here
[02:34:49] Dryfty > its unfortunate, but this is what comes of leaving helpless women floating in space in an unsecured container =/
[02:34:55] Klapen > ha
[02:34:57] Dryfty > Chivalry truly is dead in Oichiya
[02:35:03] Dryfty > /emote hangs head
[02:35:11] Klapen > just oichiya?
[02:35:12] Chris Ross > shes dead, you mean we a necrophiliacs?
[02:35:16] Dofla Lither > no it’s not
[02:35:21] Pullo Bishop > First come first serve….And guess where the line starts :)
[02:36:41] Dryfty > Orin should be happy that I was there to assist, otherwise she might’ve suffocated or something the rate he was moving to the rescue
[02:37:20] Klapen > ……
[02:37:22] Daniel Kaiser > And petitioning won’t do anything… it’s part of the game
[02:37:42] Daniel Kaiser > it’s an exploit yes, but it’s part of the game that people do often.
[02:37:55] Atra Lupus > why exploit?
[02:38:07] Atra Lupus > since it’s a part of the game
[02:38:08] Dryfty > I believe the term you’re seaching for is “game mechanic”
[02:38:23] Dryfty > internet spaceships best spaceships
[02:39:06] Iciandori > its a an adaptation of game mechanics that the Suddenly Ninja Corp uses to grief other players
[02:39:23] Iciandori > Once you know about it you just refuse to play their game
[02:39:46] Versoth > why not just warp out when a ninja shows up?
[02:39:51] Atra Lupus > well since someone got you’re mission item, you should play his game hehe
[02:40:02] Iciandori > nah abandon mission
[02:40:08] Versoth > or just run the mish tomorrow?
[02:40:13] Atra Lupus > lol ok great
[02:40:32] Iciandori > does the structure respawn?
[02:40:34] Atra Lupus > enjoin the standing loss
[02:40:36] Iciandori > Never tried that
[02:40:40] Atra Lupus > no
[02:40:42] Atra Lupus > ofc
[02:43:09] Dryfty > unfortunately my friend Orin rejected my generous offer, so once again The Damsel is available on public contract.  Fly safe o7

Private Conversation initiated by me:

[02:51:07] Dryfty > \o there
[02:51:17] Dryfty > Im afraid we mightve gotten off on the wrong foot
[02:51:17] Orin Leo > whats up
[02:51:58] Dryfty > while it IS fortunate that I was around to assist you, I cant help but sense some hostility from your corner
[02:52:29] Dryfty > I’d like to make peace between us, and allow you to complete your mission, for the most reasonable sum of 17.5m isk
[02:53:21] Orin Leo > you and i both know you’ll never sell that for 25mil so, in the worst way possible, go fuck yourself
[02:53:29] Orin Leo > oh by the way, i already got a damsel
[02:53:46] Orin Leo > i petitioned it and already received a damsel
[02:54:05] Dryfty > well congratulations!  Im glad you were able to safely rescue one before she asphyxiated
[02:54:35] Dryfty > next time you really might want to consider being a little more prompt with your rescue mission
[02:54:44] Dryfty > or I could forsee this kind of thing happening again =/
[02:54:48] Orin Leo > i was actually but there was 2 cans
[02:54:53] Orin Leo > i choose the wrong one
[02:54:56] Dryfty > I may not always be there to bail you out
[02:55:05] Dryfty > but damnnit I WILL TRY!
[02:55:09] Dryfty > fly safe o7

Finally, after his disturbing Monty Pythonesque reply of “I’ve already got one!”, I decided to seek wisdom from the powers that be, whom he claims assisted him in this most repulsive act of human trafficking:

Good Evening!  I’m in a bit of a quandry, as a I recently assisted a sloth-like mission runner with safely securing a Damsel in Distress.  Back at the station over a round of beers I kindly offered to exchange her in return for a nominal fee to cover my expenses accrued in dashing to her rescue (quite dashingly I might add!).

Unfortunately at this time my good will was spat upon and I was informed that I was being ‘petitioned’.  For the sake of maintaining a positive working relationship with said mission runner, I issued a private contract in his name for an equitable exchange of this fair Damsel, yet once more my gesture was rejected.

Mere minutes later I try for one last time to bring my dear friend Orin Leo to his senses only to be rebuffed with the claim that he’d already found ANOTHER fair Damsel!

So my question to you good folks of CCP, is whether in fact you do reward such ingratitude in your citizens by simply giving them what they have scorned receiving fairly from the hands of others?

TLDR:  If a mission item is obtained and offered back to the mission runner for a ransom, is it your policy to supply a replacement even though they have the means to reasonably acquire the original mission item?

Originally Published @ Suddenly Ninjas 7/14/10