Good day gentle reader, fear not for I have not abandoned the spacelanes!  I’ve been doing a good bit of traveling lately, casting my Net of Justice far out into the Sea of Villainy that is New Eden.  Lately I’ve been exploring the backwaters of Amarr space searching for those who seek to avoid punishment for their crimes by avoiding regular patrols. They can run, but they can’t hide.

I’ve apprehended numerous minor offenders, issued them citations, and in several cases forcibly removed ships from their possession when necessary.  None of these incidents really merit a log entry here, but I thought this one had that little extra something that should have an official record.

Flying into the deadend Ahteer system, I came across a Corporate mining operation with 3 Hulks, a Retriever, an Iteron V, a Rokh, and an Orca.  I had noticed 2 unlicensed jetcans during my initial investigation, but they had been collected by the Orca before I was able to impound the contents and issue a citation.  I felt that this situation needed to be monitored however so I warped to a safe and waited.  Shortly I noticed new wrecks appearing in the area so I returned to find the smoking hulls of some local Sansha pirates littering the asteroid belt.  I quickly moved in to help with cleanup operations and as soon as I secured a 50mm armor plating in my cargohold the Rokh pilot blew his top over the Local broadcast.  I quickly decided that it was necessary to adjust my usually professional approach to deal with this overly hostile offender.

[ 2011.02.16 02:16:37 ] Faalenleaf > lol
[ 2011.02.16 02:16:45 ] Faalenleaf > come on dryfly shoot me
[ 2011.02.16 02:16:51 ] Faalenleaf > bitch
[ 2011.02.16 02:17:11 ] Dryfty > Ladies and Incompetents first
[ 2011.02.16 02:17:13 ] Faalenleaf > go for it punk ass bitch
[ 2011.02.16 02:17:23 ] Dryfty > now now that sort of language isnt called for
[ 2011.02.16 02:17:39 ] Faalenleaf > do it you scumb bag
[ 2011.02.16 02:17:39 ] Dryfty > thought you miners were supposed to be civilized, gentle folk
[ 2011.02.16 02:17:56 ] Ntwaidumela > awww did we hurt your wittle feeewings ??? LOL
[ 2011.02.16 02:17:57 ] Faalenleaf > I’ll show you civilized you piece of shit
[ 2011.02.16 02:18:17 ] Dryfty > oh?
[ 2011.02.16 02:18:42 ] Faalenleaf > mark my name down come get me during hulkageddon. I’ll cap your scank ass
[ 2011.02.16 02:18:54 ] Dryfty > not very likely, but as you wish
[ 2011.02.16 02:19:06 ] Dryfty > also
[ 2011.02.16 02:19:10 ] Dryfty > you might want to shower.
[ 2011.02.16 02:19:13 ] Faalenleaf > heh I’ll call your bluff bud
[ 2011.02.16 02:19:18 ] Dryfty > you seem to have some asteroid dust in your vagina
[ 2011.02.16 02:19:26 ] Faalenleaf > yeah I bet bud
[ 2011.02.16 02:19:36 ] Faalenleaf > why don’t you come back so I can kill you with my drones?
[ 2011.02.16 02:20:16 ] Dryfty > if you were going to try you wouldve, instead of trying to scare me
[ 2011.02.16 02:20:27 ] Dryfty > good effort though
[ 2011.02.16 02:20:29 ] Faalenleaf > You calling me out on this?
[ 2011.02.16 02:20:29 ] Dryfty > B-
[ 2011.02.16 02:20:42 ] Faalenleaf > Cause if your calling me out, come on in and we can play
[ 2011.02.16 02:22:33 ] Faalenleaf > heh talk is cheap get in here

Now at this point there’s a veritable horde of drones being fielded by the various miners, and I highly suspect there might be a surprise waiting for me in the maintenance bay of that Orca, so I play it safe and maintain an orbit of 75km from the Rokh who has me targeted.  Sure enough, one of the other miners boards a Worm from the Orca and begins burning towards me using a microwarp drive.   I put some additional distance between us and the rest of his Corp without putting us to warp range, then  engage the Worm with my trusty Firetail.

He puts out a flight of Hobgoblin II’s and I know the success of this arrest depends on how quickly I can take them out, but I was not prepared for just how quickly I would do that.  The first drone died in 2 volleys from my two 150mm Autocannons, the rest took either 2 or 3.  Once the first flight of drones were dead I turned my loving caresses to the Worm and he melted to half armor before managing to get his second flight of Hobs out of the drone bay.

By this point I was taking steady damage and had allowed my shields to get lower than I should have, so instead of worrying about the drones I overheated my guns, along with my shield hardener and burned the Worm the rest of the way in short order with 10-15% of my Firetails shields remaining.

The Rokh pilot didn’t have much to say after seeing that Worm go down in flames, but a few minutes pass and I receive this mail from him:

can
From: Faalenleaf
Sent: 2011.02.16 02:28
To: Dryfty,

Hey look it was uncalled for on my part…no hard feelings…just a pissy night on my end.

While considering whether or how to respond I also received a private communication so I decided to gently push his buttons and see if anything else came out.

[ 2011.02.16 02:34:30 ] Dryfty > ?
[ 2011.02.16 02:34:46 ] Faalenleaf > hey that crap was uncalled for on my part
[ 2011.02.16 02:35:03 ] Faalenleaf > I am used to can flipping, and I apologize about being a dumbass
[ 2011.02.16 02:35:21 ] Faalenleaf > No excuse for my behaivor
[ 2011.02.16 02:35:25 ] Dryfty > its ok, you cant help it
[ 2011.02.16 02:35:30 ] Dryfty > I bring out the best in people
[ 2011.02.16 02:35:33 ] Dryfty > \o/
[ 2011.02.16 02:35:51 ] Dryfty > you did go from 0 to WOAH
[ 2011.02.16 02:35:59 ] Dryfty > was pretty funny
[ 2011.02.16 02:36:02 ] Faalenleaf > Well, figured I would at least make the attempt to apologize…..not like it has not happened before..can flipping that is

So there you have it gentle reader, another harrowing tale of crime, punishment, and repentance. You may notice that I highlighted part of his initial ranting, challenging me to find him during Hulkageddon. I’m not quite done with this offender I think. Unfortunately, I don’t have any experience with this particular brand of justice, so I put the call out to you my readers.

On top of the chance at fame, glory, and prizes you stand to win from the competition, I will contribute 20 million isk for each API verified killmail linked in the comments of this post on Faalenleaf, and 10 million for any of his Corp ProtoStar Trading, for the duration of Hulkageddon.

Obviously common sense restrictions apply (empty shuttle kills, etc), and I reserve the right to withhold the bounty from anyone that looks to be trying to take advantage of this noble quest for justice.